Despite substantial gender equality in highly gender-egalitarian countries like Germany, perceptions of persistent inequality remain widespread. We examine systematic perception gaps that may explain this disconnect. In a survey of 735 German adults, participants reported their perceived societal and personal gender inequality, estimated others’ perceptions, and indicated their attitudes toward gender equality measures. Both women and men perceived women as less fairly treated than men. Women reported a classic person–group discrepancy, perceiving more inequality in society than in their own lives, and projected this discrepancy onto ‘average women.’ This projection, combined with systematic misperceptions of others’ beliefs forms what we term a pluralistic illusion: the logically incoherent belief that most others perceive more inequality in society than people personally experience. We also find a better-than-average effect such that participants see themselves as more supportive of gender equality than the average person. Finally, both men and women substantially underestimated men’s support. In combination, these perception gaps may help explain persistent, polarized debates about gender equality in egalitarian societies.