Social Sciences have been debating about »individualization« since about two decades, especially in Germany. The focus of these discussions was lying on questions about options and choice, autonomy and distinction. Self reflection and self monitoring, however, were almost completely neglected. This is the starting point of this paper. It deals with questions of how the self is reflected by the subject. We can observe an increase of cultural forms for self reflection, especially in the course of the therapeutic movement since the 1960s. And there seems to be emerging a special group of persons - here called »virtuosi of self reflection« - with a high degree of self reflection, trained in a special way to be aware of themselves, to monitor their selves. Finally, the question arises whether this development is a problem for family cohesion and social integration. The argument is that modern families should promote some forms of self monitoring and self reflection because modern societies need reflexive individuals.